Never Let Me Go (Tag: Belle)

"I think it's soft now, Dad." Liz hummed, peaking around her father's arm and poking her finger inside of the bowl of dough, the white fluff easily moving to her touch as she swiped to test taste. As she suspected, it tasted delicious, but she didn't know what she did wrong to make the dough become tough so easily that she needed help to make it soft and mushy once more. "Are you sure?" Flynn asked softly, looking down at his daughter as her head bounced in the nod. Giving him a soft kiss on the cheek, Liz took the bowl and slowly started to pour the dough into star shaped cookie cutters. Flynn chuckled softly before heading over to the sink to wash off his arms.

Soon, they both heard the garage door opening, causing Liz to look up from her cookie making. Kida left a few moments ago with Emma and they weren't expecting any of her siblings to come home anytime soon, so Liz knew instantly who it was. Liz glanced over at her father, who looked like he didn't hear the garage, but she could visibly see his broad shoulders tense. Liz quickly filled up the pan to as much as she could, placing the left overs in the fridge before opening the over, slipping in the cookies and setting the timer. "Thanks for helping me Daddy... I'm going to go into my room now and finish my decorating planning for the cookies... Have fun at work, okay?" Liz told Flynn, wrapping her arms around him as he kissed the top of her head. She smiled softly before leaving the kitchen and heading towards her room, not before running into Belle on the way there. "Hi Mommy..." Liz hummed softly, giving her a soft, lingering hug as well before detaching herself and disappearing off to her room.

Of course Belle didn't want to go home. Not when she knew that Kida told what had happened. She knew she deserved this, but that didn't mean to she wanted to face it. She sat in the car for a while before going inside. She smiled faintly at Lizzy and kissed the top of her head. "Hi, baby girl," She mumbled before watching her go off to her room. She chewed her bottom lip and took in a shaky breath. 

She walked into the kitchen and rubbed her arm before casually setting her keys onto the counter. She pulled her hair over one shoulder and looked at the ground as she wrapped her arms loosely around herself. "So... You're making cookies?" She asked gently, stealing a glance at him with her timid golden hues.

"Liz is... for school tomorrow. She made the dough too hard, so I just mashed it down for her." Flynn explained firmly, almost in an apathetic matter, as if what he heard didn't matter in his head. But, a rare thing to happen when he wasn't smiling, when his voice lacked a tender warmth to anyone who he spoke to, anyone who held a special place in his heart, Kida, Marina, his children, Belle... knew it wasn't a great thing. He wiped the last part of the flour from his arm before turning around, knowing that all too familiar, now magnified, stab to his heart when seeing her figure after seeing him. He walked towards her, for the main reason that she stood in the only exit of the kitchen, and stopped for a brief second next to her. His features didn't show any rage or hatred towards her, but devastation and dejection decided to paint all over his face instead. "I have to go to work Belle..." He told her in barely over a whisper, moving past her to head towards their bedroom.

Belle shook her head and followed after him into the bedroom. She shut the door and grabbed one of his hands with both of her smaller ones. "Flynn..." she started, but she didn't know what to say. She closed her mouth and tried to convey what she meant through her eyes. She hadn't meant to let what happen actually happen. She thought Eric knew better. She knew she should have known better as well. "I'm sorry," Was all she whispered towards him, her golden hues searching his blue hues.

Flynn stripped off his t-shirt when he got into the room and rummaged through the drawer to find his simply button up shirt that he wore frequently to work, trying to focus his mind on only getting ready. He didn't want to fight with Belle, even though they never fought to the point of screaming at each other, even in their heated argument about Rosie's pregnancy. Honestly, he didn't know what to say anymore after having the same argument repeatedly over the whole span of their relationship. The worst part about the whole thing is how much he finally gave in this time, finally letting his heart remained open that they wouldn't try anything. Trusting, believing even, that they couldn't possibly do it. Kida made a bitter joke about it, not having as much trust as he did, and he went against it at first, but now... he envied having that expectancy that Kida did. Maybe his heart would have split in two instead of a million if he did. 

Flynn turned reluctantly as she grabbed his hand and said his name. His eyes searched hers just as much as she did and he could clearly see. Clearly see that she wasn't sorry for kissing Eric, feeling happy by being kissed by Eric, but she felt guilty over his feelings instead. Maybe in the past he would have forgiven her easily, but to this point, he felt exhausted with giving his heart and soul to her constantly, as hard as he could possibly try, and only to have it feel crushed down. He shook his head softly and removed his hand from hers, turning his back to her once more. "Stop saying sorry Belle... It's nothing but words..." He said to her, grabbing a shirt and slipping it on.

Belle winced when he turned his back to her and shied into herself, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort as she had when she was little. "I know it's just words, but I... I don't know who to..." she tried to come up with what to say, and only came up with blanks. "I don't understand how it works, Flynn... I was never taught what to do. John never tried to teach me... He only taught me that hurting people as okay -- that they would just deal with it," She tried to explain. "Why do you think I let you teach the kids everything when it came to dealing with people?" She mumbled.

"I didn't mean to upset you... And I know that I shouldn't make excuses... I just don't know how to explain anything... I've got no one to even back me up on my past anymore since my brother remembers nothing... I-I mean, I'm glad he doesn't remember what he did to me when we were kids but..." she closed her eyes and shook her head. "What happened to me back then is all I know on how to treat people. You get what you want and you don't care how they take it. They got me and didn't care how I took it," She whispered. She hated remembering John's fathers friends, but they were what blocked her from having everything as a child. "What do you want from me, Flynn? Do you want me to be sorry for what I did? I don't know how. The only thing I'm truly sorry for is hurting you and Kida. That's the only thing I understand -- that I don't want to see any of you in pain. But, the only way I find out what puts you in pain is by fucking up. That's what I'm good at, right?" she scoffed.

"Belle... what happened to you at such a young age is unforgettable, undeniably painfully, and difficult to move on from. I understand and that's why... that's why I haven't been upset with you after all these years. But... I can't... ignore the fact that you've been refusing me all of these years to heal, learn, and change from it. Every time I've tried to show you, every time that I try to explain it to you, you get upset and you run away to Eric because he refuses just as much as you do. I can admit that you've grown from when I first met you but..." He let out a breath before shaking his head, buttoning the rest of his shirt and adjusting the sleeves to their right positions. 

Flynn turned towards her and shook his head once more. "You didn't fuck up this time Belle. You did it purposefully, fully knowing how I would feel, how Kida would feel afterwards, and you didn't care Belle." He whispered to her, sounding a bit more harsh than usual with her. "You've known exactly how much pain it puts me through. You've known it since the day that I saw you two together for the first time, the day that you left me for him, the day when I was drunken idiot, and the countless of other time that we've had fights over this. For god sake's Belle, our children know about this constant battle. When Kida came into the house and told me what happened, Elizabeth wasn't even remotely fazed until the worst part." He explained to her, closing his eyes as he tried to get his thoughts back in order. He moved towards the bathroom and leaned against the sink, wetting his face with the chilling water.

"Then what, Flynn?" Belle whimpered, sitting onto the end of the bed. She wanted to argue that she hadn't done it purposefully. She didn't ask Eric to kiss her. But, she'd kissed him back. "I don't know what to do... I know what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry that I don't let you teach me... I'm scared of moving past my past. It's all I have that I know won't change." She looked at his reflection in the mirror before looking down. "I didn't mean to hurt you... He kissed me, and I thought that If I hadn't been the one to do it than it wasn't my fault, and..." She bit her lip and shook her head. "No... That's not right either," She sighed heavily and held her head, closing her eyes. She didn't like not understanding. She knew that was her fault, for not learning. 

"I love you... I do. More than you know. And Eric loves Kida. He's just confused right now and he's lost. As much as I am. As I always have been... I told you to leave me a long time ago, and you wouldn't do it," She smiled bitterly at the ground. "I told you this would happen and you didn't listen... I'm a fuck up and I can't help it. John made sure I wouldn't be able to function outside of the home so that I wouldn't leave --that I would always need him there."

"Belle..." Flynn sighed as he looked into the sink and closed his eyes. "That moment... when I was just a small boy... when I took that lamp and hit my father upside the head with it... I forced myself to grow up. I forced myself to never open myself again, to never trust again, to never love again, and to only protect my grandmother until she eventually left me too. Since five years old Belle... five years old, when our kids started school... I had to act like the way I am now... Until I met you... I changed who I am because of you, I didn't let my past haunt me anymore because I met you Belle. Because I knew that I wasn't alone anymore, because I knew that I wasn't this broken little boy trying to be a man, but the man I am today."

Flynn looked up and walked to lean against the bathroom doorway. "It hurts me to hear that all you know in life is what they did to you in the past Belle. You need to open your eyes and let the past go Belle. Use it as a memory that made you stronger, not something you need to cling onto. You don't like this world because you won't to see the beauty in it, you don't understand why our children act the way that they do because you don't try to understand them, and you can't see the reason why I stayed with you because all you see is the scared little girl trapped inside of your brother's keep." 

Flynn brushed back his wet locks before moving over to her, kneeling down and placing his hand on her knee. "Belle. I need you to look at the 14 year old girl that is nothing less but you. She may be childish just as so, troublesome just as you, but she's the perfect little angel because of you. Because you took her from my arms and said that you will give this girl the most love and care in the world that you never had as a child. You raised her, Belle, and you made her into the beautiful girl that she is." He explained softly to her before sighed and removing his hand away from her. "Regard Eric though... If you're still confused and lost about your feelings to both of us after this many years... I... I don't know how much I can keep going... Keep giving you my heart as much as I could... everyday... When I feel like your heart isn't at the same place mine is half of the time... I... find myself not believing your words..." He admitted to her softly, looking into her eyes before sighing and standing up.

Belle looked down to hand and pursed her lips. She did raise Elizabeth, didn't she? She'd been determined when she found out she was pregnant that she would take care of her and that she would be her own. The twins and Liam had always been Flynn's more than hers. And she was fine with that. He was the perfect father. Elizabeth was a good girl. A little misguided and spoiled, but she was good.


She closed her eyes as he went on to talk about Eric. How did she feel? She looked up at him as he stood up and bit her bottom lip. She got up as well and looked at him with timid golden hues. "Let me just... try something. Please?" She pleaded gently. She stood up on her toes like a small child and placed her hands on the sides of his face. She leaned over to him and brushed her lips against his. When she deepened the kiss in the slightest and felt her heart practically leap into her throat as it always did when she was with him this close, she knew her answer. 

She leaned her forehead against his for a moment before leaning back and looking at him with a slightly more determined gaze. "That. That is what's different. This," She said and took his hand placing it over her heart so that he could feel the fast pace. "That. I don't get that with Eric. I never have... You're the only one I have ever met who can my heart do that... It scared me when I first met you. I was determined I'd drop dead one day because my heart would explode," she smiled sheepishly and then sighed. "I don't deserve you... I know that... I've always known that... You show so much compassion and love and understanding and I know I abuse that... I don't mean to... I do love you. I have always loved you. And I will always love you, even if you tell me to leave now like Kida did," She said with a small shrug. "That doesn't mean I'll give up on you -- on this... I didn't in Nirethia, and I won't here. I'm sorry I'm so screwed up and I'm sorry that I fuck things up so easily... I can't ask you to be understanding again, and I get that. So... I'll go. I have enough money in my own savings account that I can get a hotel for a few nights," she offered. "This is your house, after all... You're the one who worked to pay for it."

Flynn looked back into her eyes as she spoke again and he knew if he didn't let her, he couldn't be blamed for his actions but his own heart wouldn't bare it. His blue eyes watched as she placed her hands on his cheeks and leaned in for a kiss. A sharp pain moved across his chest, his mind instantly going to the thought that her lips, her soft, warm lips, touched someone else that she loved other than his. But, he felt the same sensation as he did with her as they kissed each and every time, the sensation that he wanted, needed more of her kisses, her love. 

He opened his eyes as she leaned away, seeing the determination across her features as she took his hand. He felt her rapidly beating heart, not the first time that he felt it, but the first time that Belle admitted that she didn't get that from Eric. He smiled a bit at how she felt in the beginning with him, matching that feeling just as well. Belle wormed so easily into his life, a life that he spent years barricading from the outside words, to only have it broken down within a day or so after being with Belle.

As she spoke about leaving the house for a few days, he felt quick to deny her offer. "I would never ask you to do that... Not just because of Elizabeth but I don't want to be separated from you... Not like Kida and Eric... I just need... time to sort everything through..." He spoke softly, sighing a bit before looking at her. He placed his palm softly on her cheek and gave her tender kiss on her forehead. "I love you Belle..." He whispered against her forehead before moving away.

Belle bit her lip and nodded. She closed her eyes when he moved to kiss her forehead. "I love you, too," She whispered. However, when he moved away from her, her eyes took on the look of a lost child. "Wait!" She chimed and moved over to him. She slid her arms around his middle and hugged him, nuzzling her head into the middle of his chest, taking in his scent. 

She then went to the dresser. She pulled off her tank top and shorts and pulled on one of his big t-shirts. She walked over to the bed and sat down cross legged on his side. "Do you have to work today?" She questioned quietly, biting on her bottom lip. She didn't like him working. She didn't deserve for him to stay home, either. But, she didn't want to be alone at the house. And she didn't want to be without him. Sure, she didn't quite understand that he had to be away from her to think things through.

Flynn turned around when he heard her voice, blinking when she moved over but his expression soften when she wrapped her arms around him. "Belle..." He sighed softly and wrapped his arms around her for the brief moment until she moved away again. He watched as she removed her clothing and slipped on his shirts, sitting down on the bed and giving him that look that she didn't want him to leave. It usually went half and half, sometimes he really needed to leave for important appointments and other times he wasn't need there. This time, he wasn't needed there, but he felt working would keep his mind straight about the situation. Anything involving Eric kept him at his wits end most of the time. 

"I don't have to..." Flynn mumbled softly, but hesitant in wanting to stay. He didn't know if it seemed like a great idea to stay with her for the rest of the day. He didn't have a clue how he would react when she came home, which turned out better than he thought, and he didn't know how he would react to her now. But, he felt like the distance between them could only make it worse, just as it did with Eric and Kida. "But... I'll stay..." He gave in to her, sighing a bit before walking over to her, taking off his work shirt and laying down on her side of the bed.

Belle smiled a bit, watching him come over to her. She laid down and looked at him, blinking her wide golden hues. "Oh, wait!" She gasped and scrambled over him, climbing off of the bed and hurrying into the kitchen. She grabbed an oven mitt and got the cookies out of the oven, just before they would have burned. She grinned to herself and cut the oven off with a bit of effort. "Lizzy! Your cookies are done," She called up to her before walking back to their bedroom.

She bumped the door closed with her hip, then walked over to the bed and laid down with him. She didn't get close to him, but simply looked at him before closing her eyes and sighing. She brought the collar of the shirt she wore up and scrunched it up, holding it near her nose so she was breathing in his scent. It always comforted her.

Flynn made a small 'oof' when she crawled over him. She wasn't heavy, but the suddenness, it surprised him. His ears perked as he looked up to the ceiling, smiling a bit as Belle went to go grab Liz's cookies, knowing how much she didn't appreciate the cooking systems in this time. He heard Liz move out of her room as Belle came back into theirs, not bothering to ask if she needed help. She would just throw a stubborn fit if they tried to help her in her specialty. 

He watched as she laid back down and his gazing meeting hers. He smiled a bit as he watched her before reaching his hand up to brush a brown lock from her face before taking her hand, interlacing their fingers together. "I can never be angry with you, Belle... Upset, yes. Truly... never." He whispered to her, looking into her golden hues. "You make it hard too..."

Belle opened her golden hues and blinked at him, giving a small, sheepish smile. She looked towards their hands and chewed her bottom lip. "Well... If it makes you feel any better, I don't try to be adorable," she mumbled cutely, ducking her head. "I'm kidding," She assured him, peeking her gaze back up at him. Even if she was trying to grow up, she couldn't get rid of her childish tendencies. "I really am sorry, Flynn... You're the last person in the world I ever want to upset..." she sighed and brought his hand up to her lips, kissing his knuckles. "I just... I need you to tell me what is okay and what is not. Though, I feel that If I told you to tell me what I can do with Eric, you'd say I couldn't even be near him," She smiled sheepishly. "Maybe... If I'd never gotten out of John's house -- just stayed in the woods... We might be happier now," She sighed. She would never have met Eric if she'd never left the house.

Flynn smiled a bit at her, not minding when she acted like a child at times. He loved the part of her, reminding him of his own little childhood he never had. His expression soften once more when she talked, his eyes lingering to her lips on his hand before looking back into her eyes. "Belle..." Flynn sighed, moving his hand away from her to stroke her cheek affectionately. "I could never... would never... ask you to stop seeing Eric... He's important in your life Belle... Just as much as Kida is in mine... I want... to be able to trust you without having to worry about... you leaving me for him... I trusted you this time and that's what devastated me the most.."

Belle's hues were tender, apologetic, and guilty all at once. She felt bad for what she did. Especially as she saw him in pain. To know he didn't trust her? She shook her head and moved over to him, not caring about him needing space. She needed to make sure he knew she was staying there with him. "Flynn... I'm sorry. I made a bad choice. A very bad one... I mean, I love you... And it's a different love than my love for Eric. I just... I don't completely understand how love works so I get it mixed up. Even after almost twenty years," she sighed heavily. "Can I just blame John for all of my flaws?" She questioned as she curled close to his chest. "I will not leave you for Eric, though... He and I... Despite how alike we are... We wouldn't work I don't think... We would get tired of each other... All we would do is get drunk and..." She bit her lip and shook her head. "I prefer what I have with you... We argue, yes, but we understand each other. I help you have fun, and you help calm me down. Our sex is amazing, and we have a beautiful family. Why the hell would I want to give that up?" she whispered, to herself and to him.

Flynn watched as she moved on top of him and listened to her words, chuckling a bit at the John comment. He wrapped his arms around her small frame, kissing the top of her head. "Mm... If only..." He whispered softly before smiling at bit at the end part. He shrugged softly, not knowing why anyone would leave. "Thank you Belle..." He mumbled softly.

Belle smiled a bit and curled close, thankful that he would even let her be in his arms. "I love you," she whispered in response. She leaned back and propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. "Honestly... I love you," She repeated again, caressing his cheek before leaning down and kissing his lips tenderly.

"And I love you Belle..." He whispered softly, smiling at her repeated words, and leaned into the tender kiss. He closed his eyes and caressed her cheek softly with one hand as the other wrapped around her body, keeping her close to him. He adjusted his arms and moved to his side, letting her head rest against his shoulder as he hovered over Belle. He kissed her affectionately on her cheeks, temples, forehead, her nose, and finally returning to her lips. 

Liz opened the door to let them know that she was leaving soon, but she didn't say anything as she saw them together. She smiled a bit, knowing this was their usual way of making up, and just waved, closing the door right afterwards. Flynn looked up as the door closed before chuckling a bit before looking down at Belle. "We have the whole house to ourselves for a bit..." He told her, curling her soft brown lock around his finger gently, a bit playfully.

Belle looked up at him and smiled slightly, closing her eyes with each of his kisses. She laced her arms around his neck and brushed her fingers in his hair as she returned his kiss. She glanced at the door and giggled. Shaking her head, she turned her warm honeyed eyes back to his icy ones. "All alone," she hummed and smiled before hooking her hand at the back of his neck to tug him down to kiss her again. Her heart beat frantically, even after almost 20 years of knowing him. She took his hand and put it over her heart so he would feel. "Feel that heartbeat...? Its yours. And only yours. Even if it causes me to have a heart attack one day. It only beats like that with you," she whispered, her forehead leaned against his.

A smile tugged the corner of Flynn's lips as she hummed before returned her kiss, his eyelids fluttering close. He opened his eyes once more as she took his hand once more, her heart beating quite rapidly against his hand. He chuckled softly at her words, reversing their hands and placing her hand where his own heart thundered against his chest as well. "Always yours..." He whispered back to her, gazing into her warm hues before pulling her close to him, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

Belle breathed in his scent and let her hands trail along his back, her hands already having memorized each contour and bump of his spine and muscles. She kissed his neck tenderly and lovingly, trailing along it to his shoulder, then to his collarbone. Her lips were gentle, yet warm. One hand slid around and caressed the skin on his chest, while the other slid up to his neck and gently tangled in his soft brown hair.

As he felt her hands leave a burning trail all along his body, he kissed the crook of her neck gently, inhaling her warm scent interlaced with his. He liked the feeling of her lips and the way her fingers touched his skin. Also liking how much she loved to tangle her fingers in his hair, always one of main reasons why he never cut it too short. His hand rested on her waist, just underneath his shirt, her soft skin tingling his palms.