Lonely [Tag Ian]

Liam shook his head when Arianne offered to make him something to eat. "I'm not hungry, honest. I just wanted to come and check out what you guys were up to... Make sure everything was okay... You two haven't heard from Helena, have you?" He asked a bit timidly. Arianne smiled sadly and shook her head. "No... At least, I haven't. I've been on suicide watch with Stefan lately," She bit her lip and sighed heavily. "I never realized how lucky I am to have Jasper," She mumbled and touched Liam's cheek. "You have no idea," He sighed and then gave a soft goodbye before heading downstairs into the bookstore. Belle wasn't working today, as she was trying to help Aladdin and Marina with Stefan.

Liam wandered around the bookstore, having no where else to go. He heard the sound of books coming off shelves, like someone was picking them up and arched a brow. Then he remembered leaving the door open. Someone probably assumed the shop was open. "Er, sorry, but we're close--" He paused as he came around a shelf and saw it was Ian. "Oh. Hi, Ian. You're fine to be here... What are you looking for? Maybe I could help," He offered, knowing Ian was in the same boat he was in, though his was a good bit more serious.

Ian was more concentrated after he broke up with Stefan. More concentrated at school, and at his studies, he had no idea of how hard it was to get into a medical school, and how hard it was for him to get into a public good school. He had already picked some of them, and was studying hard to be able to get into some of them. And that was his life for a couple of weeks. He didn't talk to his mother very much, and almost didn't talk to his father, or Chris or their friends, since they were friends with Stefan too, and he didn't want to meet the boy in any chance. He heard John and Marina found him after they left, and he was 'fine'. If this happened in another time, Ian would be helping him too... But he couldn't mostly because he had a big part upon what happened to him.

He took off from his house, and looked for a library. He needed a few book about advanced biology, and he was having a hard time to find one opened. When he was almost losing his hopes, he found one opened, and walked in quickly before it was closed too. He didn't notice he was at Belle's library because of the simple reason he wasn't paying any attention at his surroundings anymore. However, he looked at the reception, looking for the secretary, but since there was anyone there, he decided to look for the book by himself. He was lucky again and found some good books he couldn't find at his school library. He heard someone talking to him, but he didn't listen. Hell he even didn't recognized Liam's voice. He looked up to the stranger when he called his name and frowned seeing his cousin. ''Liam? What are you doing here?'', he asked, and then smirked, as he finally recognized the place. ''I'm at Belle's library, right?'', he shook his head... ''Sorry... I've been...'' Lost? Distracted? Lonely?... ''Studying hard these past few weeks'', he said with a sheepishly smile. It wasn't the brightest thing he could have said, but it was true, and the truth could suck sometimes.

Liam pursed his lips and nodded just slightly, though his gaze was focused on the look Ian had in his eyes. He wasn't saying what he wanted to say. Sure, he had been studying, but that didn't explain why he looked so tired and distant. "We haven't heard from you in a while..." Liam said quietly as he walked closer to the boy and picked up a few more books Ian hadn't grabbed yet. "You're... studying for medical school, huh?" He questioned and eyed the other male. "...So am I. Surgeon. Since I don't get the perks of being magical, I have to do it the old fashioned way," He teased lightly and gave a small smile, though it was no where near as full as his normal, goofy grin had been before things with Helena had gone south. He sighed as the girl crossed his mind and shook his head, trying to shake the blonde from his memory. "Listen, uh... Do you need any help studying? I would be glad to help you out... It might be nice to have someone to study with," He mused, his golden eyes hopeful.

Ian nodded quietly... ''Yeah, I've been keeping myself a bit distant...'', he murmured, and looked at the others books Liam had picked. Those were excellent too, and Ian hadn't seen them on the shelf. ''Hmm, yeah. I changed my mind after he went to hell'', he smirked and laughed slightly when Liam teased. It wasn't his normal laugh. It was something lifeless, and pathetically sad. ''Having magic in my blood won't help me getting this... Hm, maybe it could, but I don't want to cheat, and I need to have something to keep my mind busy'', he murmured, or else, he could go and get lost in his sadness, like Stefan was. He considered having help from the other boy, ''Well, we made a good team when we were kidnapped... Going into a medical school is easy in comparison of facing rabid dogs and cannibal chicks'', he murmured with a small smirk.

Liam smiled a bit and nodded. "Katrina versus advanced biology... This should be pretty easy," He smirked back, then bumped his hip lightly against Ian's. "As long as you can keep up," He teased and smiled a bit more genuinely. "C'mon... We can go to Uncle John's old apartment. He's letting me rent it so I can get out of the house," He said quietly. "I've taken down my dad's decorations so you don't have to worry about any pictures or anything," He mumbled quietly before nodding and walking out to his jeep. He put his books into the passenger seat and gestured for Ian to follow him in his own car. He got into his jeep and waited for Ian before leading him to the executive building. Parking in the parking deck, he got out and got his books, then smiled as Ian too parked. "Follow me," He escorted and lead him up the elevator to the top floor.

The apartment was less white and sharp as John had made it. It had more warm tones and teenage decorations. There were pictures of his own close family, but none other than his siblings and parents. There were a few of Kida and Eric and the twins, though. He had more pictures of everyone, he just hadn't gotten them framed yet. "I'm trying to decorate the place with pictures I've taken... Most of mine are of--" He started to say Helena, but bit his tongue. He hadn't said her name in weeks. "But, uh... I'm working on getting them developed and everything. It can be expensive, and honestly I'm horrible at decorating anything," He said, making a face. "Maybe Lizzy could help," He mumbled and shook his head with a small smirk. "She's too busy with Violet, though, I suppose..."

Ian chuckled a bit, a bit more like himself now. He shook his head when Liam bumbed his hips against him, and sighed. He was so far from people that he felt weird with the friendly bump. He was positive that studying with Liam would help him to keep sociable. He pursed his lips when he mentioned he was at John's, and bit his lip when he talked about pictures. It was clear that his mom had told Belle about what happened, and now half Seattle knew about him and Stefan. He followed Liam hesitantly to his jeep, and chewed his bottom lip. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go to that building with Liam, but seeing how cheerful the boy got with the idea of going there to study convinced him to get into the jeep.

He texted his mother, telling her where he was going and took a deep breath as he stepped into the elevator. He peeked inside the house, and got a bit less tensed when he saw the decoration, much more like Belle's loft then the place where he and Stefan spent some nights. He looked at the pictures around, and smiled seeing Liam with his family, and smirked seeing pictures of him and his family. He looked at him when he talked again, and pursed his lips. He remembered that Liam and Helena weren't in good terms with their relationship, and by the look Liam had in his face, it was clear they didn't have a relationship now. He nodded and smiled when he mentioned Lizzy. Glad for talking about anything bu their romantic lives. He knew he didn't want to talk about his, and he was pretty sure Liam didn't want to talk about his either. ''Perhaps Lizzy can spare some time to help her brother with some decoration advice...'', he mumbled... ''By the way, I'm sending a new picture of us with Emma... The girl is growing fast!'', he smiled.

"I bet she is," Liam smiled a bit and chuckled softly as he walked to the fridge and grabbed two sodas. He brought one to Ian and smiled a bit. He turned on the fireplace with the remote and then turned his warm hues onto Ian. "Lizzy will be helpful. As long as she doesn't throw glitter everywhere," He laughed a bit before walking over to his windows and raising the blinds to show off the view of Seattle. He bit his lip as he looked out at the view. Of course, he tensed a bit when his gaze shifted down to show him how high up they were. He shook his head and backed away from the window. "I hate being scared of heights," He sighed and then walked over to one of the chairs beside the couch. He sat down in one and smiled. "So. Want to start studying? Or, are you hungry? I could attempt to fix some food... Or, if you want, we could go on the roof?" He suggested. "I've got a little area set up up there. Since it's getting dark, there are some lights and whatnot up there. I like to go and listen to records," He mumbled, smiling sheepishly.

Ian chuckled a bit, imagined the whole place covered in glitter. He looked out to the windows, and sighed seeing the view. It wasn't his first time on the building, and definately his first time seeing the view... He remember how breathtaking it was for the first time, and when Stefan hugged him from behind, and the feeling of his warm arm wrapping around him... No, he must not think of such things if he wanted to keep in one piece. So he turned his attention to Liam, and smiled a bit... ''You're afraid of heights and lives here, on the penthouse?'', he teased, noticing how tensed the boy got now. He murmured a spell to calm him, and nodded. ''Hmm, sure... I've never been on the roof before'', he smiled, and got his books. It would be good for him to stay on the roof, where he didn't have any memory to recall.

Liam shook his head when he felt magic on him. "Ian, please don't," He said quietly. "Magic is something almost everyone in my family has, except me. I try to avoid it when mom will let me. So... Thank you, but I'm okay," He said softly and gave him a small, grateful smile. He then led Ian up a set of stairs and onto the roof. It was a bit dark, but he knew where to lead him. When they came up to the area, he flipped on the switch to turn on the strung up lights. He smiled slightly, as he had a small couch and a record player, as well as a small mini fridge. "It's nothing fancy, but... It's nice to look at the lights out here and listen to music," He said softly and nodded as he walked over to the roof's edge and leaned on the railing. "I'm trying to work on my fear of heights... It's gloomy to keep my blinds down just because I'm scared of falling," He chuckled slightly. "It must be easy for you... You can just push your fears and emotions away with your magic, huh?" He mused. "I've gotten good at hiding my emotions since I was little... I was always jealous of Rosie for her magic, and Jasper because everyone would think he was so cute and adorable before they even noticed me. Then again, who does notice me, right?" He scoffed.

Ian ended the spell right after Liam complained, and gave him an apologetic smile. ''I'm sorry... Everyone has magic back home, and sometimes Chris and Ian use magic to catch things or just clean our rooms when mom ask'', he murmured, and gladly let the boy led him upstairs. ''Nah, it's perfect...'', he smiled, and looked around, to enjoy the view from up there. It was way different, and he liked to feel the evening breeze upon his face... Though if it would get cold later, they'll need to get downstairs, or just be closer to each other. As he walked towards the railing, he first widened his eyes, and then got impressed when Liam said he was facing his fears. He walked and leaned his arms upon the railing by his side. He listened to him before speking, ''That's not right... We try to not mess with emotions and feelings using magic. We only use it when we know we're doing good to the person, like Rosie does with Damon. I never used that magic on me, and I only used once... With you at the living'', he sighed. ''And you also wrong when you say people don't notice you. People do notice you...'', he murmured, thinking of Helena, but he thought it would be wiser if he didn't speak her name. ''I noticed you before... I didn't see you at the library, but I barely noticed my mother or Chris these days...'', he scoffed, and turned his blue hues towards the city.

Liam scoffed and shook his head as he looked over at Ian. "Right. The only person I ever cared about whether or not they notice me doesn't want anything to do with me," He muttered, smiling sadly and looking down. "But... I'm glad you noticed me, I guess," He murmured, adding the 'I guess' playfully. He smiled slightly and reached over, placing his hand over the other boys. "You've been... doing alright, though?" He asked, honestly concerned.

Ian looked down, before turning his blue hues back to Liam with a small and sad smile. ''I'm sorry about that person'', he sighed, and chuckled a bit at his playful tone. ''Maybe'', he smirked, but it faded slowly when Liam asked about Stefan and what happened. He didn't care at all of the other's boy hand upon his... ''What do you think? I'm pretty sure my mom told yours what happened, and I've been keep my mind busy since then, so I wouldn't lose it'', he murmured, ''You seem to be better than me... Facing your fears, moving on...'', he added with a small smirk.

Liam shook his head and smirked a bit. "That's where you're wrong. I'm just a better actor than you are," He murmured and chuckled softly, though it wasn't as lighthearted as his normal laughter. "I'm far from moving on. I've been having panic attacks frequently, but no one has noticed. I guess they're too concerned with Stefan right now," He scoffed and bit his lip. He fiddled aimlessly with Ian's fingers and sighed. "Sorry. I know I shouldn't bring him up," He mumbled and smiled sheepishly. "Do you want a beer?" He questioned, eyeing the boy. "I don't usually drink, but... I could use it," He mumbled and shrugged, walking over to the mini fridge and sitting down with a beer in his hands. He cracked it open and took a long sip.

Ian got a bit concerned when Liam mentioned having panic attacks. He imagined it would be better if Lizzy kept an eyes upon him, well, at least while he wasn't there studying with him. He tensed when he heard Stefan's name. No one had said that name out loud at home, and hearing it for the first time made him sad... ''You shouldn't...'', he murmured quietly, his gaze still lost upon the city. As he offered him a beer, he was about to decline it, but he accepted instead. ''Sure...'', he murmured, and walked over to the mini fridge to take a beer for himself. He sat byt the chair near Liam, and cracked it open, sipping just a bit before taking a sip. ''Do you feel lonely too?'', he asked quietly, before taking another sip from his beer.

Liam looked over to him and then pursed his lips and looked down to his beer. "Of course I do... I wasn't ever around anyone except--" He paused and sighed, shaking his head. "It shouldn't be so hard to say her name," He whispered, frowning to himself, then took a long sip of his beer. He was easy to get tipsy. He felt better when he was drunk. Less stressed. "I shouldn't have become so entangled with her... I didn't notice I was when I was doing it... But, then again, there isn't a time I can think of when I saw you alone, either," He pointed out and looked over at Ian with a small, sympathetic look. "I'm just glad you're not hurt," He said gently.

Ian nodded, knowing it was also hard for him to listen to Stefan's name, or hearing it. He pursed his lips, and scoffed a bit... ''I'm not hurt? The guy broke me, not caring who I was in his rage... If I wasn't lucky, one of my ribs could have perforated my lungs, and I would be dead... Just because his sister and my brother had sex...'', he vented and took a long swing from his bear then. ''He.... Stefan... He can be very dangerous, for himself and everybody else'', he sighed. ''He was the longest relationship I have ever had, and the only boy I loved'', he said quietly.

Liam bit his lip and shook his head. "I can't say Lizzy and Violet don't upset me, but... I can't control anyone other than myself. I guess Stef just doesn't understand that... He's always been screwed up, Ian. He just finally cracked. Now everyone is concerned on getting him the help he needs. And keeping him safe from himself twenty four seven," He said, making a slight face as he remembered all of the time Arianne had spent just keeping Stefan company as to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

He sighed and took one of Ian's hands again. "When I said you were lucky, I meant it. You are lucky to be alive. And, I'm lucky to have you here. I didn't realize our stories were so similar... Sure, Helena isn't violent, but... She's the only love I've ever known. Ever since I was one, I've always wanted nothing more than to just be around her... Now, she put me back where I had been before. Just worse than before," he sighed. "At least you know Stefan did love you. That he wasn't just using you to feel good at himself," He muttered, glaring sadly at the beer bottle in his hand.

Ian smiled sadly and put his hand upon Liam's as he sighed... ''Maybe you're right... I just felt so useless that night... You don't know, but there were many other times he could have cracked, but I was always there helping him. He listened to me every time'', he pursed his lips and turned his eyes down before meeting his golden hues again... ''I was so used to have him by my side. I loved him... Hell, I still love him... He was the one helping me to find who I am. He taught me how to love'', he said with a slight shrug. ''But are you serious you've loved her since you're one? Man... You should look around and see what you've missing'', he chuckled lightly, not realizing he was flirting with his cousin.

Liam listened and gave the boys hand a gentle squeeze as he spoke of how Stefan affected him. He still loved Stefan, and Liam still loved Helena. They would probably never fall out of love with either of them. They could only move on. He smiled a bit and shook his head, taking a few more sips of his beer. "I literally have been blind to everyone except her since I was a baby..." He chuckled slightly, not realizing how pathetic that sounded. "God. I really am lame, aren't I?" He scoffed, smiling as he got up and wandered back to the railing and leaning against it. "Doesn't really matter, though. I mean, no one has ever been interested in me. I thought Violet was, but..." He smirked. "Turns out she prefers my sister. Which I guess doesn't surprise me. Everyone prefers my siblings over me. You're lucky. You've always had girls falling all over you... Hell, you've always had guys falling for you, too, though they won't speak up about it. Freaking bigoted high school," He shook his head.

Ian chuckled too, and shook his head... ''He didn't think he was lame... Well, maybe a little, but he thought he was cute loving someone for his whole life. He looked as he walked back to the railing, and finished his beer before following him. He leaned against the railing, and smirked as he talked of Violet, and about him. ''Wow... I didn't know boy were falling for me'', he murmured a bit playfully. ''About your question before... I don't think you're lame. You're cute, loving someone and expecting nothing back than to be loved too...'', he murmured. ''C'mon Liam... You are the most genious boy in that school. You're funny, and smart, and above all, you're loyal to everyone you care about...'', he said softly, and caught himself looking upon Liam's lips for a brief moment... ''How can't anybody fall for someone like you?'', he asked, a bit to himself.

Liam looked down to the beer in his hands, then shifted his golden hues onto Ian. He smirked slightly as the boy was surprised to hear other guys had fallen for him. "Of course they did... You're handsome and smart and talented. And I mean, you did look pretty good in your sports uniform. At least, thats what they told me," He murmured, then bit his bottom lip slightly. He smiled sheepishly at the compliments and shook his head, brushing them off as he always did. He was oblivious to Ian's gaze upon his lips. "I've never met someone who showed any interest in me. People just push me to the side, and I guess I'm okay with that. I've never known any different," He said gently before shifting his gaze back onto Ian. He bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders. "I've always been with Stefan and Paris and Arianne... You never noticed me before," He said quietly.

Ian smirked and turned his head back to the city after he started complimenting about him, looking at him with the corner of his eyes as he mention him being pretty good in his uniform. He sighed and looked to the other side while the boy talked on. He pursed his lips slowly, and turned his gaze back to Liam, as if he was seeing the boy for the first time. Of course he had never noticed the boy before... Before he only looked at girls, and nothing really serious, just night stands, but not as many ones like his brother. And then Stefan walked in, they've been friends since they were young, and while he was with him, he had no eyes for anyone. He didn't notice anyone. But he was seeing Liam now... He was feeling attracted to him, perhaps he had always been, but his relationship with Stefan didn't let him see it. He bit his lip, holding back a small smirk as he noted how cute the boy was in front of him... Maybe, he was the one who didn't see what was missing...

''What if I tell you I'm noticing you now... That maybe I've noticed you for long ago...'', he whispered, and placed one hand upon his shoulder softly.

Liam stood quietly, gazing out at Seattle and sipping at his beer until the can was empty. He sat it onto the ground, then leaned back on the railing. When he felt Ian's hand on his shoulder, he looked over at him. He noted the new look in the boys eyes. His eyes got slightly wide in surprise as he thought about what the boy could mean. "You? Noticing me?" He smiled sheepishly and shook his head. Was he attracted to guys? He'd never really thought about it. He'd only ever thought about Helena. He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away for a moment. "I don't know what I'd do," he admitted honestly. His head bobbed a bit as he nodded, then eyed the hand on his shoulder. He reached up and put his own hand atop Ian's.

His smirk grew seeing the look into Liam's face... He slid his hand softly to his neck, and stepped in... ''Just relax... And let me led this dance'', he smirked and wrapped his other hand upon his waist, bringing Liam closer to him. He looked into his golden hues as he nuzzled his nose playfully against his, and then, closed his eyes as he leaned and kissed his lips softly.

Liam let out a silent, nervous breath and looked at Ian hesitantly from the corner of his eyes. His heart beat fast when he was drawn closer to the boy. His face was nervous, even when Ian was playful with him. He wasn't sure how to respond to advances. It was like he was reverted to the nervous boy he'd been before Helena all over again. And yet, as Ian's lips met his own, he felt more relaxed. It wasn't any different than kissing a girl. If anything, Ian was just stronger. Then again, Helena had been strong, too, before--

Liam closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, pushing Helena from his mind. He didn't want to be thinking of her. He wanted to be thinking of this moment. Of the feeling of the boys kiss. And yet, a simple thought brought into his mind made him break the kiss and look at Ian with a sort of bewilderment. "We're cousins, Ian... We can't do this," He shook his head and walked to the couch, pulling out another beer and taking a long sip as he sat down.