In Your Hands, I Hide (Tag; Rosie)

If you didn't know him better, you couldn't tell how much of a complete wreck Jasper felt. He only looked the way he did after they came back from that place, normal but a less happier feel to his atmosphere than before. It hadn't started when they'd gotten to the store, somehow concentrating his thoughts on others. Rosie, Stefan, Liam and Helena, and his mother all distracted his mind from actually running out of control. But when he went into the ambulance with Ari, he could tell that his thoughts were already running back to all of those nightmares, despite his best efforts over the few weeks. When they started hooking Ari to all of those machines, throwing out the many terms of that all revolved around her condition being much worse than Rosie told them, having to also wait it out for a few days without his aunt Kida, Jasper sat in the chair in the corner, trying to keep himself calm. 

How glad he was that he didn't inherit the panic attacks that Liz and Liam did, because his simple smiles that he cast towards Arianne's worried eyes wouldn't have worked so well. They wouldn't allow him near her, letting her fall asleep by herself from the morphine, but when they left the room, he kept himself close to her. It wasn't even a few moments before he sat back in his corner, her parent's coming in with their usual screaming at each other. But Adam looked as he could kill Stefan himself, causing Jasper to shy away from him, hopefully staying un-noticed. He sighed in relief when Rosie came into the room, finding some relief in the constant screaming. Even Adam stormed out after a bit, leaving Rosie and Meg to converse with each other. 

Staying quiet, his lips naturally gluing to each other from not being moved for so long, Jasper looked at the clock. He cringed inside at the time, knowing that visiting hours were going to be up soon. And upon him coming to the hospital with Ari, one of her nurses told him that only a family member would be able to stay with her tonight. He could have lied, sure, but he couldn't bring himself to push Meg or even Adam out before him. But that also meant, he'd have to go home, alone. Being at home alone was hard enough, but now worrying about Arianne in the hospital? It depressed him even more to think of what he was possibly going to do for tonight, his eyes down casting back down to the floor. 

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Rosie was worried. It was obvious in her eyes. And yet, no one could tell she was. She was calm and reserved. She ushered calming spells to those around her and assured everyone that Arianne would be okay. In truth, no, she didn't know that for a fact. But, she wanted to believe that the girl would be okay. She was her best friend, after all. She couldn't imagine what it would be like without her. So, she kept her spirits up as always. She gave Adam smiles, even when he yelled at her for not healing Arianne. She only calmly explained that Kida was the only one who could heal bones.

She watched them go before looking down and taking in a calming breath of her own. She pushed her brown hair back out of her face and hooked it behind her ears before looking around for her brother. She smiled sadly, seeing the way he was coping. She knew she had to leave, but she also knew he did, too. She could feel his sadness -- twin telepathy. She knew how bad his nightmares were, and she knew how much he hated being home without Arianne there with him. She walked over to him and touched his cheek. "Hi, handsome," She said gently as she knelt down in front of him. "We have to go soon," She murmured. "Do you want to stay with Damon and I...? You could stay in the guest bedroom," She offered, though she realized he would still be sleeping alone then.

She pursed her lips in the same manner he had his pursed and sighed. She pulled out her cellphone and called Damon. "Baby...? No, I'm fine. But, with Arianne here, Jasper will be alone tonight. I can't have that. I want you to go stay with my mom, okay? She'd love to have you there," She said with a soft smile into the phone. "I love you, too," She murmured before ending the call and shifting her eyes onto Jasper. "I'm going home with you. Don't argue with me," She said simply and leaned up, kissing his forehead gently and tenderly. "Tell Ari goodnight, and we'll go, okay?" She said softly.

She got up then and walked back over to Meg. "She's scheduled for surgery in the morning. The Doctor said you'll be able to see her again after lunch. Jasper and I will be back then, alright...? I'm so sorry this happened. I wish Aunt Kida had been here," She said gently. "We know, sweetheart. This wasn't your fault, so you don't need to be apologizing. We don't blame you for not knowing the spells," Meg shrugged and kissed Rose's forehead before going over to Jasper. She hugged him and kissed the top of her head. "She'll be okay, Jasper... We love you -- even Adam. He's just as scared as you are. We all are. But, we have to be strong, like Rosie is," Meg offered a smile in Rose's direction. Rose pursed her lips and looked away. "Go on, Jasper. You look like you need some sleep," Meg sighed.

Jasper looked up when he felt someone nearing him and smiled when it was Rosie. "Hey, beautiful..." He responded back to her softly before nodding at having to leave. As she offered to for him to stay with her and Damon, it was only natural for him to reject her offer. "Rosie... It's fine... I don't want to bother either of you..." He told her, not wanting to be a pest to Rosie and Damon with his not so great mood. When she got on the phone, he raised an eyebrow before quickly realizing what she was doing. "Rose..." He started until she cut him off, causing him to sigh heavily. Of course he was glad that Rosie was going to be with him tonight, but the obvious tugging feeling that Damon needed her more than Jasper did couldn't escape. Even if Damon was staying with their parents for the night. 

But, he complied to Rosie's wishes, knowing she wouldn't change her mind anytime soon, and got up, walking over to Arianne. His fingers brushed the side of her face gently, brushing back a lock of her hair from her face behind her ear. He leaned down; kissing her forehead, cheeks, and nose before reaching to her lips. He whispered soft, sweet words in her ear, hoping that she would hear him in her dreams, before straightening as Meg came over. He hugged her back and smiled at her words, nodding softly. He looked over at Rosie when Meg mentioned about being strong like her but he knew that Rosie hid her emotions much better than anyone did in their family, with the exception of their brother and his habits to hide things as well. "Thank you... I'll try to get some tonight..."

Megara nodded before eyeing the nurse that came in, telling the twins they needed to get going, as the hospital was closing to visitors. Rose said a gentle goodbye to Arianne before taking Jasper's hand and lacing her fingers with his as she walked with him to the elevator and down to her old Volkswagen convertible. She got into the drivers side and waited until he was settled before driving to the book store.

She got out and sighed, fixing her hair from the wind messing it up on the drive. "I can wear one of your shirts tonight, right?" She asked as she walked with him up into the apartment. Lizzy had gone with Liam, as she'd expected. She smiled a bit. "I really do like what you've both done with the place... Reminds me of when we were kids, with Ari's odd sense of style," She giggled a bit before turning her brown eyes onto her twin.

She pursed her lips and took his hand, tugging him over to the couch. She sat him down and wrapped her arms around him. "Jasper... You know you're supposed to tell me everything, right?" She mused. "I can feel it when you're on the edge of breaking down... You're scared of losing her like you do in your dreams, aren't you?" She questioned, her voice calm.

Jasper looked at the nurse as she told them they needed to leave. As Rosie took his hand, Jasper cast the sleeping Arianne a gaze of how much he didn't wanted to leave her one last time before she was out of sight. He followed Rosie to her car, sitting down in her car, and enjoyed the breeze of the drive.

Once they were back at the loft, he smiled a bit when she fixed her hair and nodded to her question. "Of course you can, Rose..." He responded to her as he opened the door. He didn't notice the lack of their little sister there, or that she even cleaned up everything, leaving his sketchpad on the table. He looked over at Rosie when she commented about the decorating, catching most of it. "Oh... yea. It was Ari's idea..." He said, looking around a bit at the loft as if for the first time. He found living here bitter sweet, such fond memories growing up and even with Ari that could almost cover all the horrible, gruesome ones. 

Jasper turned his gaze back to Rose as she moved him towards the couch. When they sat and she wrapped her arms around him, he easily molded into her warm embrace. When she commented about how she could feel what he felt, just a breath away from reverting back into his out of control emotions, he turned his face towards her. In an attempt to hide his weakness, he placed his temple gently on her cheek so she couldn't see his face. "Yes... Like I'm still in one of those god awful dreams..." He whispered, trying to joke it off but sounding more broken than anything. He started wrapping his arms around his twin desperately as he could feel the tears build. "I-I... don't want to lose her Rose... Not again..."

Rose sighed when Jasper finally stopped trying to hold it in. She hugged him closer and kissed his temple affectionately. "Shh... You will not lose her. I know Arianne like the back of my hand. She would not let something like this take her away from you," She said simply, smoothing the hair at the back of his head. "She loves you more than anything or anyone. I know she's broken and I know you want to fix her... But, you cannot let that weigh you down so much... She has to learn to take care of herself, or you'll be doing it her whole life. You need to work on yourself, too, Jazzy... You shouldn't be like this," She sighed and turned his chin to look at her.

She rested her forehead against his and looked into his blue eyes tenderly. "Arianne is not going anywhere... But, I'm not concerned about her right now. I'm concerned about my baby brother," She murmured, holding the fact she was five minutes older than him over his head as always. "I don't want you to get as broken as Ari is... You're too kind and gentle to be so sad," She whispered, nuzzling her nose against his. She took his wrists and brushed her fingers against them gently, sighing in relief that they were not scarred as Arianne's were. "Jazz... Would you be willing to go to therapy If I could get it set up for you?" she asked quietly. "Arianne, too, if you want. But, you need to talk to someone about your dreams. I want my brother back... The one who's eyes were brighter than the sky. Not this cloudy blue eyed boy," She pouted cutely at him and nestled her nose to his once more.

Jasper listened to her words, her voice soothing as it always was to him. He nodded softly, knowing that Ari was strong enough to get through this, but it didn't push away the doubt in his mind. The everlasting doubt that one day she'll actually be gone and it wouldn't just be a dream. As she started to speak how he needed to work on himself and not so much on Ari, he found it difficult to have even the thought of not thinking about Arianne's well being as much as he does. How much he wanted to protect her from anymore hurt that the world could deal on her, wishing that he could take some of it as well. But, he guessed that he already did, especially in his state now. He couldn't deny Rosie was right though. It would only make things worse if he continued like this, especially with the possibility of each day of Ari finding out that it wasn't just his dreams that made him feel like this. 

Jasper opened his eyes to look into Rosie's golden hues, obviously concerned laced all over it, but much brighter than his these days. He closed his eyes as she nuzzled her nose against his, sighing a bit at her words. How he wished he could just flip the switch to being 'old' him, the one that sat perched on top of a wall, drawing his favorite person in the world continuously. Now, he wouldn't dare go near his typical wall anymore, not having the strength to actually climb on top of it anymore. He let out a soft chuckle as Rosie checked his wrist, not blaming her for doing so, especially for how many times he had to sleep in the living room for being tempted. He opened his eyes once more as she questioned about going to therapy before he looked down. He'd never thought of going for himself, rarely lacing therapy with anyone else but Arianne honestly, so he didn't know how he felt about it. He looked back up at Rosie and chuckling a bit a her pout, kissing her cheek softly back in affection. "I... don't know how I feel about it... but I'll go... I don't... want to be like this anymore... having this constant feeling of something bad is always going to happen... And... My bright blue eyes... are the only thing I got on you... I can't let that go so easy." He said, his voice soft and trying to be a bit playful at the end.

Rosie smiled slightly as he accepted her gesture to get him into therapy. She knew it could help him, and that was all she needed to hear. She wanted her brother back. Sure, he had been quiet before, but never so broken up inside that she was scared he would hurt himself. She giggled softly and kissed his forehead at his joke. "Jasper... I want to help you, okay? Come with me," She said and took his hands as she tugged him to the master bedroom she knew he didn't step foot in. She ushered a calming aura over him and on the room before opening up the door and walking inside.

She kept a hold of his hand as she looked around the room. She could feel the pain in the room and shook her head. She closed her eyes and focused her magic to wipe the foul aura from the room, banishing the magic the smaller twins had left behind. Leaving the room light like it always had been when they were children, she lead Jasper inside. "Jazz... I know this is where your dreams were. I need you to see that they were not real. None of it happened. The gun? It's where it always has been. Look," She said and let go of his hand to allow herself to get the silver box from under the bed. She set it on the bed and showed him that it was still locked with the combination on their family knew. "Open it," she said gently and sat beside him, placing her hand on his knee for support. If he could hold the gun, he could face the fear of it -- know that he could move it away and get rid of it so that the option would not even be in the house. She wouldn't do it for him.

Jasper nodded as she wanted to help him and followed her willingly, but still curious of what she had in mind. However, as they headed towards the master bedroom, he tensed instantly at even the sight around the door. But he found himself a bit calmer, probably thanks to Rosie, coming towards it. It still didn't wash away the memories though. They still felt fresh in Jasper's mind, as if it just happened yesterday. The smell of sickening iron, the high ringing of the gun shot, the horr-. He stopped himself before he could really get upset. 

Focusing on Rosie as much he could, he nearly ripped her away from grabbing that silver box, as if his dream was replaying as it did each night. 

He looked down at the case, trying to will himself to open it. For a moment, he could only see Ari opening it, how she looked peaceful and almost happy to be opening it. But as Rosie placed her hand on his knee, his blue eyes looked up at her before nodding softly. He reached for the lock, his hands shaking at this point as he tediously managed to put the number in and hear a soft click of the box opening. He took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself as he opened the lid. 

However, as he saw the full metal weapon, even Rosie's comfort wasn't enough for Jasper to quickly move away from it, almost falling off the bed from his movements. That one part of his dream that always had him screaming awake, that one part that he tried to push out more than anything, came crashing into his mind like a whirl wind. Out of instinct, his hands came up to his ears, as if trying to stop hearing it, and he shut his eyes tightly, the tears coming back just as easily once more. "I-I-I...C-c-can't."

Rose watched him intent eyes, making sure he wasn't forcing himself past reason. She squeezed his knee gently when he got the case unlocked and watched the way he changed when he saw the gun. She caught him in her arms before he could get off the bed and pulled him to her, cradling his head to her chest and kissing the top of his head. "Shh... Jasper, it's okay..." She whispered near his ear, closing her eyes as she worked to keep herself together as she truly saw the pain he was in. She could feel it, too. She smoothed his hair and kissed his head repeatedly.

"You can, Jasper... You have to. I can't do this for you... No one can. You don't want this to hold you back, do you? It was a bad dream that was meant to make you weak. Are you really going to let it do that to you?" she questioned, pulling back to look him in the eye. "Pick up the gun, Jasper. Tell Hades he was wrong about you. He thinks he can get to Arianne because you're weak. Prove him wrong. I know he's wrong," She whispered to him and kissed his forehead.

Jasper's hands moved to Rosie's arms, clinging desperately to them as he tried to calming himself. He tried to push the memory away, deep down in his mind as he usually did. But, when Rosie said that he needed to hold the gun, he already knew that pushing it away was only running from it, becoming weak to it's endless taunting. He looked into her eyes as she spoke to him, he nodded softly, determined to do just that. 

As he took in a few more breaths, he moved away from Rosie and back towards the case. He grabbed the lid once more and breath deeply, evenly, as he opened it slowly. The metal shined in his eyes mockingly, but it didn't stop him from pushing the lid completely off. His hand shook as he reached down to grab the cold weapon from it's casing and slowly took it out. It wasn't loaded, that much he could tell from how light it felt, but he still felt uncomfortable holding it, any type of weapon really. He kept his fingers well away from the trigger, not wanting to take any chances, especially how his breathing seemed uneasy than usual.

Rose smiled when he moved away from her with that determination in his eyes. He looked like their father when he was strong. She bit her lip and watched him as he got out the gun finally, her breathing still and quiet as to keep things calm. She was nervous around guns, too, but that didn't stop her, as she knew he needed this. She smiled and let out a breath of relief after a few seconds of him holding the gun, proving he wasn't going to put it back and run off again.

"What do you want to do with it? We can take it to dad in the morning... He can keep it there in his office," she mused softly. She reached over and put her hand over his on the gun. "I'm proud of you," She said gently, smiling. She leaned over and kissed his cheek affectionately. "Ari will be, too," she assured him.

Jasper controlled his body to the best of his abilities, his hand not shaking as viciously or his breaths as jagged. He looked over at Rosie with what they could do with the gun and he couldn't agree more than give it back to his father. "I think... even if dad didn't want it, I'm sure he'll find great use out of it..." Jasper murmured softly, knowing his father only left it there for protection from unwanted intruders. But, it only proved to be the threat rather than help. He smiled at her, his eyes soft towards her. "I couldn't have done it without you Rosie..." He whispered softly, setting the gun down to move over and hug his sister close to him. He kissed her cheeks affectionately before nuzzling his nose in her soft brown hair. He smiled a bit as she said Ari would be proud as well. "I think she would be surprise that I went near this room... let along touched the case... But yea... I know she will..." He said, a bit of lightness to his tone.

Rose smiled and nodded. "We'll take it to him first thing tomorrow," She said gently before her golden hues turned to him as he put the gun back down. Her gaze softened and she pulled him close to her, stroking his hair affectionately. "What else is a sister good for if she doesn't help her baby brother?" She teased. "I love you. I want to help. Simple as that," She said with a shrug. "Come on... Next, I want to get all of Arianne's blades... I know where she hides them. I don't want you to be tempted," She nodded and kissed his forehead before getting up and tugging him up with her. She walked into the bathroom and looked around. It was obvious no one had been in there in a while.

She knelt down and opened up the cabinet underneath the sink. She ducked her head inside and sighed, reaching up to the piping and getting one of the blades Arianne had taped there. She sat it onto the counter and then made a face as she saw the way it had some dried blood on it. "Arianne..." She sighed heavily and rinsed it off in the sink. "You haven't checked her recently, have you?" She questioned, frowning a bit. "I'll do it in the morning," She nodded and set the clean blade onto the counter. She picked up the soap bottle and pulled off the taped blade there. That one was clean. "There's one in your bathroom. I'll go get them," She said and jogged to the other bedroom, leaving him there for a moment.

Jasper smiled a bit as she continued to use the 'baby' brother term, as if he was born a year later than she was but it was really five minutes. "I love you too... And Thank you so much..." He whispered, kissing the side of her head gently. His blue eyes looked into hers as she commented about retrieving Arianne's blades. He nodded softly and bit his lip a bit, knowing that she had them. When he asked her about them one day, she nearly avoided the topic, not wanting to tell him. But, he didn't pressure her to get rid of them, hoping that even with him, she didn't need them anymore.

When they went to the bathroom, he watched Rosie as she easily found her first hiding place. His expression sadden when he saw the first blade wasn't clean as he hoped. He shook his head at her question, avoiding her gaze as he watched her clean the blade. When she retrieved the one from the soap bar and went to their bathroom, Jasper took the small blade in his fingers. He sighed heavily, wishing that he knew the reason why she would go back to cutting. He grabbed the other and walked back to the bed, sitting down on it once more. He placed one of them next to the gun as he twirled the tiny sharp metal in his fingers, his mind deep in thought.

Rosie walked back to the bedroom with the blade in her hand and tilted her head as she saw him sitting there beside the gun with the blade in his hand. "Jazz?" She asked gently, not wanting to startle him from the thoughts he seemed to be in. "You'll cut your fingers if you're not careful," She said softly and gently took the blade from his grasp. "Don't worry, Jasper... That blood could have been really old for all we know," She pointed out, biting down on her bottom lip. "But... Like I said, we'll look on her tomorrow, okay?" She said and touched his cheek affectionately.

Jasper looked up when he heard Rosie's voice and chuckled a bit at cutting himself with the blade, willingly giving it to her. "I know... But I still wish that she can tell me when she's getting to that point... to harm herself..." Jasper said softly, looking at the other blade before looking back at his sister. "Okay..." He responded back softly, before clearing his throat a bit. "Is that all of them...? Or would she have more hidden around the house?"

Rosie hooked her hair behind her ears and shrugged before placing the blades into the metal box with the gun. "I'm not sure... Those are just the ones she's mentioned to me before," She said gently and touched his cheek. "Don't take it personally, Jasper... She just doesn't want to pull you down with her," She tried to explain. "I know, you want her to tell you... You have to make sure she knows that, though," she mumbled. "When she gets out of the hospital, you bring her back here and make her feel like a princess. Understood? It'll make both of you feel better. That's what Damon always does for me when he knows I'm upset," She offered up a suggestion.

Jasper nodded softly before looking back at Rosie, giving her a soft smile. "I know Rosie... I don't think talking to each other about our depression is one of our strong points." He said, chuckling softly. "I will try to do that and much more, Rose..."

Rose smiled sadly and nodded before kissing his forehead. "Come on, Jasper. You look exhausted. Let's go to sleep," She said gently and walked with him to the bedroom he and Arianne stayed in. "Cute," She giggled a bit as she saw the hanging bed. She went to the dresser and got one of Jasper's big shirts. She changed into it, not minding that he was in the room, as she'd grown up in the same room as him. She smiled in his shirt and went to the bed, crawling up onto it and sitting cross legged. "C'mon," she said, making grabby hands for him to come to bed.

Jasper closed his eyes softly as she kissed his forehead before nodding. He walked into the bedroom with her and smiled as he saw the hanging bed, knowing how much that made Arianne happy. As Rosie changed into one of his shirts, he took off a layer from his shirt, only wearing a white t-shirt underneath. He looked over as she made her grabby hands, smiling a bit before coming over. He took her hand and sat down, letting her move to the other side of the bed before he laid down with her. He kissed her forehead softly. "Thank you... for everything Rosie... Really..." He whispered softly.

"No need to thank me, Jasper... You're my brother. It's what I'm good at," Rosie giggled softly before kissing his nose and curling up close to his chest as she did when they were little. "I love you, Jazzy," She yawned softly before falling asleep.